Here is another story in Library Lady’s Christmas Stories series.
ANGELA’S CHRISTMAS
BY JULIA SCHAYER
Edited by Jane Mouttet
“Then it is ‘yes,’ father dear?” said Angela, looking across the breakfast table with a smile. It was her mother’s smile; the girl had filled her mother’s vacant chair for over a year.
When the father and daughter’s eyes met, Angela knew, before a word was said, that she had conquered.
“I hate to see you at your age, beginning to worry over these things,” Ephraim Frazier said regretfully. “Let the old women take care of the charities, dear. You keep dancing in the sunshine for a while longer, daughter.”
Angela’s smile grew graver but not less sweet.
“I am twenty, dear,” she said. “Too old to dance all the time, and I cannot help thinking. And—it’s no use, papa dear! I must do something! It is ‘yes,’ isn’t it?”
“You are sure you won’t mind being criticized and ridiculed?”
“Quite sure!” answered Angela.
“And sure you won’t take your failures and disappointments to heart too deeply?”
“Quite sure I can bear them bravely,” answered the girl. “If only one, just one, of those poor creatures, may be helped, lifted up, and brought out of darkness, it will be worth trying for!”
“And what does Robert Johns say about it?”
A glow kindled on Angela’s face.
“Robert is in perfect sympathy with me,” she said softly. Then again, this time having risen and gone to his side to speak with her face against the old banker’s smoothly shaven cheek, “It is ‘yes,’ isn’t it, Daddy dear?”
“Well, yes! Only you must go slow, dear. You are not over strong, you know.”
And soon it came to pass that on a vacant lot, hitherto given over to refuse heaps, haunted by stray cats, ragpickers, and vagrant children, in one of the vilest quarters of the metropolis, there sprang up, with magic swiftness, a commodious frame building, surrounded by smooth green sod, known in the lower circles as the Locust Street Home; in upper circles, laughingly denominated “Angela’s Experiment.”
Angela did not mind. It was primarily good-natured laughter, and many laughers ended by lending willing hands and hearts to the cause. It was incredible how the news spread through the city’s purlieus that here was a sanctuary into which cold, hunger, and fatigue dared not intrude, a place which the lowest might enter and be made welcome and go unquestioned, his personal rights as carefully respected as though he were one of the Four Hundred.
That was Angela’s theory. No man, woman, or child should be compelled to do anything. First, make their bodies comfortable, surround them with good influence and examples, entertain them, stimulate them, give a helping hand, and leave the rest to God. “They shall not even be compelled to be clean!” she laughed. “If the beautiful clean bathrooms and clean clothing do not tempt them to cleanliness, then so be it! I will have no rules, only influences. You will see!”
And people did see and wondered.
Sometimes, on warm, pleasant evenings, the spacious, cheerful hall, with its tables and chairs, would be almost empty. Still, on nights like that on which this story opens, a dark, cold December night, the seats were likely to be filled, mostly with slatternly, hard-featured women and dull-faced children, who sat staring stolidly about, while the music and speaking went on; half stupefied by the warmth and tranquillity so foreign to their lives.
Outside, a dismal sleet was falling, but from the open door of the entryway, a great sheet of light fell upon the wet pavement, and above it glowed a transparency bearing the words: “A Merry Christmas to all! Come in!”
While the singing was going on, led by a high, sweet girl’s voice, a human figure came hobbling out from a side street and stopped short at the very edge of the lighted space.
A woman by her dress, a very old woman with a seamed, blotched face; an ugly, human wreck, all torn, battered, and discolored by the storms of life. Such was old Marg—”Luny Marg,” as she was called in the places that knew her best. Her history? She had forgotten it herself, very likely. There was no one to know or care—no one in the wide world to care if she should at any moment be trampled to death or slip from the dock into the black river. The garret which lodged her would find another tenant; the children of the gutters another target for their missiles. Not that she was worse than others—only that she was old and ugly and sharp of tongue, and the world—even her world—has no use for such as she.
This forlorn creature continued to hover on the edge of the lighted space for some time. The sleet had become snow, and a thin white film already covered the pavement, promising “a white Christmas. ” The cold increased from moment to moment.
The woman drew her filthy shawl closer; her jaws chattered, yet she seemed unable to tear herself from the spot. Her eyes, alert under their gray brows, as a rat’s, were now fixed upon the open door and the transparency, yet she made no motion toward the proffered shelter. Two men, hairy and ragged, stopped near her and, after a moment’s consultation, slunk across the square of light and disappeared into the building. As the door was opened, there came a fuller burst of song and a rush of warm air, fragrant with the aroma of coffee and oysters.
The old woman’s body quivered with desire; food, warmth, rest—all that her miserable frame demanded—were there within easy reach, just for the asking, no for the taking, yet still the devils of stubbornness and spite would not let go their hold upon her. But finally, as a bitter blast swept the snow stingingly against her face, she uttered a hoarse snarl. Glancing about to see that no jeering eye was upon her, the poor creature crept across the pavement, clambered up the stone steps, and, pushing open the door, slipped into the nearest vacant seat.
The chairs and benches were unusually full. Several women and children were in the foreground. A few men were also present, sitting with their bodies hanging forward, their hats tightly clutched between their knees, and their eyes fixed on the floor. On the other hand, the women and children followed every movement of the young women on the platform with furtive eagerness.
The simplicity of Angela and her friends’ clothing did not deceive even the tiniest gutter-child present—these were “ladies,” and one and all accorded them the same tribute of genuine if reluctant, admiration.
After the embarrassment of the first moment, Old Marg took everything in with one hawk-like glance—the Christmas greens upon the clean, white walls, the curtained space in the rear that hid some pleasant mystery, the men and women on the platform.
At the organ sat a young girl, leaning upon the now silent keys, her face toward the young man speaking. Old Marg could not take her eyes from this face—white, serious, sweet, set in a halo of pale golden hair. The sight of it aroused strange feelings in the bosom of the old outcast. Fascinated, tortured, bewildered, she sat and gazed. It was long since she had thought of her youth. This girl reminded her of that forgotten time. Like a violet flung upon a refuse heap, the thought of her own innocent girlhood lay for an instant upon the foul mass of memories accumulated by sixty miserable years. “I was light-haired, too!” ran old Marg’s thoughts. “Light-haired, an’ light-complected, like her!”
The perfume of that thought breathed across her soul and was gone. Still, she gazed from under her shaggy brows and, without meaning to listen, found herself hearing what the speaker was saying. He was telling the story of Christ without rhetoric and presenting the lesson of His life with simplicity and tact.
“This joy of giving, of sacrificing for others,” the young man was saying in his earnest, musical voice, “so far beyond the joy of receiving, is within the reach of every human being. Think of that! The poorest man, woman, or child who breathes on earth tonight may know this joy and may give some pleasure, some help, some comfort to some fellow creature. Whether it be a human or animal matters not. It is all one in God’s sight: an act of love, kindness, and sacrifice.”
Old Marg looked down upon her squalid rags; her rough features writhed with a scornful smile. “That’s a lie!” she muttered. “What could the likes of me do for anybody? I’d like to know!”
Still, she listened, but at last, as the warmth stole through her sodden garments and into her chilled veins, and the peace of the place penetrated the turbulent recesses of her soul, the man’s voice became like a voice heard in a dream, and the old outcast slept.
A confused sound greeted her awakening. Someone was playing the organ jubilantly; people were moving about—girls with trays loaded with steaming dishes; children were talking and laughing excitedly. The curtain had been drawn, and a great Christmas tree almost blinded her with its splendor. She stared about in bewilderment. She looked at the tree, the people, and her own foul rags. A fierce revulsion of feeling swept over her. Rage, shame, and a desire to get out of sight, to be swallowed up in the darkness and misery, which were her proper elements, seized and mastered her. She staggered to her feet. A young girl approached her with a tray of tempting food. The sight and smell of it goaded the starved creature to madness. She could have fallen upon it like a wolf, but she pushed the girl roughly aside and fumbled dizzily at the door knob.
A hand was laid upon her arm. The girl with the sweet, white face was looking at her with a friendly smile.
“Wouldn’t you like to stay and have something warm to eat before going into the cold?” the girl asked gently.
Old Marg shook the hand from her arm. “No!” she snarled. “I don’t want nothin’! Let me go!”
With a patient smile, Angela opened the door. “I am sorry you will not stay,” she said softly. “It would give me great pleasure. There is a gift for you on the tree, too. It is Christmas Eve, you know!”
A hoarse, choking sound came from the woman’s lips. She pushed by into the vestibule. Angela followed. “If you should feel differently tomorrow,” she said, in her kind, gentle voice, “come here again about eleven o’clock. I shall be here.” Without waiting for a reply, she re-entered the hall. A young man, the same who had been speaking, met her at the door.
“Angela!” he exclaimed. “You should not be out there in the cold!” She smiled absently. “Did you see her, Robert?”
“That terrible old woman? Yes, I saw her. A hopeless case, I fear.”
Angela’s eyes kept their absent look.
“It was awful to see her go away like that, into the cold and snow, hungry and half-clad!” she said.
The young man leaned nearer. “Angela,” he whispered. “You must not let these things sink into your heart as you do, or you cannot bear the work you have undertaken. As for that old creature, it is terrible to think of her, but she seemed to me beyond our reach.”
“But not beyond God’s reach through us!” said Angela.
In the meantime, old Marg was facing the storm with rage and pain in her face and heart. The streets were deserted and lighted only by such beams, which found their way through the dirty windows of shops and saloons. From these last came sounds of revelry and contention. At one or another, the poor creature paused, listening without fear to the familiar hubbub. Should she go in? Someone might give her a drink to ease for a time the terrible gnawing at her breast. Might? Yes, but more likely, she would be thrust out with jeers and curses, and, for some reason, old Marg was in no mood to use the caustic wit and ready tongue that were her only weapons. So she staggered on until the swarming tenement was reached, stumbled up the five flights of unillumined stairs, and almost fell headlong into the dismal garret she called her home.
Feeling about in the darkness, she found a match and lit a bit of candle, which stopped the neck of an empty bottle. It burned uncertainly as if reluctant to disclose the scene upon which its light fell. A smoke-stained, sloping ceiling, a blackened floor, a shapeless mattress heaped with rags, a deal box, a rusty stove resting upon two bricks, supporting in its turn an ancient frying pan, a chipped saucer, and a battered tin can from which, when the scavenger business was good, old Marg served afternoon tea—such were her home and all her personal belongings.
There was no fire nor any means of producing one, but upon the box was spread a piece of paper containing a slice of bread and a soup bone, whereto clung some fragments of meat—the gift of a neighbor hardly less wretched than herself.
The old woman’s eyes glittered at the sight, and seizing the food, she sank weakly upon the box and began gnawing at it. Still, her toothless jaws, stiff with cold, made no impression upon the tough meat and hard crust. Letting them drop to the floor, the poor creature fell to rocking to and fro, whimpering tearlessly like a suffering dog. Strangely enough, within the withered bosom of this most wretched creature, there had welled up, from some hidden source of womanly feeling, a passionate self-pity, a no less passionate self-loathing. This was what a moment’s contact with all she had so long rejected—purity, order, gentleness—had brought to pass.
That fair young girl–tall, pale, sweet as an Easter lily—stood before her like an incarnate memory, pointing toward the past, the far-distant past, when she, too, was young, pretty, and innocent, and joyful—too pretty and too happy for a poor working girl! That was where the trouble began.
“I was light-haired, too,” moaned old Marg, twisting her withered fingers restlessly. “Light-haired and light-complected! A pretty girl, an’ a good girl, too! Not like her. No! How could I be? Little does the likes of her know what the likes of me have to face!”
The bit of candle guttered and went out. The cold increased. It had ceased snowing, and a keen wind had arisen, tearing the clouds into shreds through which the stars gleamed. And presently, the moon climbed up behind the old church belfry across the square and sent one broad white ray through the dingy window and across the floor. All at once, the great bell began to strike the midnight hour, its mingled vibrations filling the garret with tumultuous sounds. The vision of the fair girl faded, and old Marg was herself again, a hard, bitter, rebellious old woman with a burning care where her heart had been and only one thought, one desire, left in her desperate mind—the thought and the desire of death.
In young and passionate days, she had often thought of seeking that way out of life’s agonies, but at its worst, there is always some sweetness left in the cup—when one is young! It was not so now. The dregs only had been hers for many a year, and she had enough. Death—yes, that was best.
Her eyes glittered as she cast a look about the silent room. Bare, even of the means to this end! Ah, the window!
With an inarticulate cry, the woman arose, hobbled along the shining moon-ray to the window, and threw open the sash. Awed by the stern beauty of the heavens, the moon’s splendor tangled in the belfry’s lace-like carvings as in a net, she leaned some moments against the sill, looking out and down. Far below lay the deserted square, its white bosom traced with the sharp shadow of the tower. Old Marg measured the distance with a keen eye, a sheer descent of fifty feet. Nothing to break the fall—nothing!
One movement, a swift fall, and a black, shapeless heap would break that white surface. A policeman would find it on his next round, some drunken reveler would stumble over it, or the good people on their way to early mass—ah! The seamed countenance lit up suddenly with a malignant joy.
Why not wait until they began to pass—those pious, respectable people in their comfortable furs and wools—and cast herself into their midst, a ghastly Christmas offering from Poverty to Riches, from Sin to Virtue? This suggestion commended itself highly to her sense of humor. With a hoarse chuckle, she was about to close the window when a portion of the shadow that lay alongside the chimney showed signs of life and, rising on four long and skinny legs, became a cat—a lean, black cat, that crept meekly toward the window, its phosphorescent eyes gleaming, its lank jaws parted in a vain effort to mew. Startled, old Marg drew back for an instant; then, glancing from the animal to the pavement below, a brutal cunning, a malicious pleasure, lit up the witch-like features. Reaching out one skinny arm, she called coaxingly: “Puss! Puss!”
The cat dragged herself up to the outstretched arm, rubbing her lank body caressingly against it.
The cruel, cunning old face softened suddenly. “If she ain’t a-tryin’ to purr!” muttered old Marg “Well, that beats me!”
The poor beast continued its piteous appeal for aid, arching its starved frame, waving its tail, fawning unsuspectingly against the arm that had threatened.
Old Marg drew the animal in with an impulse new to her misery-hardened heart and closed the window. Far from resisting, the cat nestled against her with every sign of pleasure.
“She’s been somebody’s pet,” said the old woman, placing her on the floor. “She ain’t always been like this.”
The divine emotion of pity, so new to this forlorn creature, grew and swelled in her bosom. The man at the hall had not lied, after all. Here was another of God’s creatures as miserable as herself—nay, more so, for she had a roof to shelter her! And she could share it with this homeless one.
“Poor puss!” muttered old Marg, stroking the rough fur. “You’re starvin’, too, ain’t ye? An’ I ain’t got nothin’ to give ye, not even a bite. Ah!”
Her eyes had fallen upon the discarded food. Eagerly, she seized it and placed it before the cat; the starving creature gnawed greedily at the bone an instant, then looked up with a hopeless mew.
The old woman felt a keener pang of pity.
“Poor beast!” she said with a bitter smile. “Ye can’t eat ’em, can ye? No more could I! We’re in the same box, puss! Old, an’ toothless, an’ nobody belongin’ to us. We’ll have to starve together, I guess. An’ it’s Christmas day! Did ye know that, puss? Christmas day!”
The cat rubbed against her skirts, her eyes fixed upon her benefactor’s. “Seems to understand every word I say!” old Marg muttered. “If only I had a drop o’ milk for her now!”
Hobbling to the stove, she examined the battered tin can, letting the moonlight shine into its rusty depths. A little water or tea remained in it, and with this, she moistened some of the bread and placed it before the cat, which devoured it eagerly. Then she took the animal in her arms and laid herself down on the mattress, drawing the ragged covers over them. The cat nestled against her side; the warmth of the two poor bodies mingled, and both slept.
The moon-ray crept along and spread itself over the heap of rags, its knotted fingers resting on the cat’s rough fur and seamed old face. It passed away, and morning dawned with a peal of bells and the sound of footsteps on the pavement below, and still, the two slept on.
Angela stood near the door, receiving her Christmas guests. They came straggling in, in twos and threes, some boldly and impudently, some shame-faced and shy, some eager, some indifferent, but all poverty-pinched. Each one was pleasantly welcomed and passed on to the feast. Angela watched and waited, and at last, the door opened slowly to admit old Marg, who stopped short on the threshold with a look at once stubborn, appealing, suspicious, and ashamed. She stood there like a wild animal on the alert for the faintest sign of repulsion or danger. Still, Angela only smiled, proffering her white, soft hand, destitute of jewels, but the hand of a lady.
“A Merry Christmas!” she said brightly.
“I was ugly to ye last night,” said old Marg huskily, ignoring the beautiful hand she dared not touch.
“Never mind!” Angela answered sweetly. “You were tired.”
“I am a bad old woman!” said old Marg mistrustfully.
“Never mind that, either!” said Angela. “Let me be your friend. If you will, you shall never be cold or hungry again.”
A profound wonder came into the old face—then it began to writhe, and from each eye oozed scant tears, seeking a channel amid the seams and wrinkles of the sunken cheeks.
“You will let me be your friend,” urged Angela.
Still old Marg wept silently, the scant tears of age.
“You shall have a pleasant home and——”
A swift, suspicious glance darted from the wet eyes.
“Not a ‘sylum, miss, please!” said the old woman.
“No,” said Angela quietly. “Not an asylum, A home—a bright, clean, comfortable home——”
“I can work, miss!” put in old Marg, doubling her knotted hands to show their strength. “I can wash, an’ scrub——”
“Yes,” said Angela, “you may work all you can, helping to keep things clean and comfortable.”
Still, old Marg looked doubtful. Wiping her cheeks with a corner of the shawl, she half turned toward the door.
“Have you a family or anyone belonging to you?” asked Angela, thinking to have reached the root of the difficulty.
“Yes,” said the old woman stoutly. “I have a cat. Where I go, she must go, too!”
Angela patted the grimy hand with a laugh, which was good to hear.
“I understand you perfectly,” she said. “I have a cat of my own. You and your cat shall not be separated.”
A half-hour later, the young man Robert came in. Angela pointed silently to old Marg, sitting in a warm corner, contentedly munching her Christmas dinner. “What have you done to her?” he asked. “She looks more human already.”
Angela laughed again, that same laugh that goes to one’s heart. “I have adopted her—and her cat!” she answered. That’s all!”
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